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Katharine McPhee jumps on the FunnyorDie bandwagon…

Wait, does this mean that Quween was not a real homeless woman?? Does this mean that the original paparazzi video was staged and fake?

Are they implying something about the celebrityland?!

To watch the original video where Katharine McPhee gets snagged by the ‘homeless woman’ Quween… watch it on hollywoodtv’s youtube. Hey it got over 390,000+ views when I saw it.. not bad Katharine! The funnyordie video so far has garnered a respectable 12900+ views. Not bad.

I like the product placements – hollywood.tv, Starbucks and TMZ. To read more, see “Katharine McPhee in Paparazzi Protection“.

To read another one of my FunnyorDie dissertations, check out “I think we’ve been had. No less by Lindsay Lohan” or you can read “Lindsay Lohan and the Louis Vuitton Endorsement?” to see my suspicions.

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Is it better to win American Idol or not?

I’m being an a$$ but I had a ‘chat’ with a friend over lunch whether it was better or not to win Idol. Fine, so I was rather defensive and aggressive (as he put it) ‘cos I thought he was talking crap for the most part. Truth be told, he had no clue that Clay Aiken had a baby and was gay and neither did he know that Kellie Pickler toured with Taylor Swift. Not to feel like I had 1Up-ed him but seriously, don’t go talking without facts, sir! Pssh.

This is one of the gripes I have with people who come up to me constantly and ‘discuss’ Mariah Carey as if they know her and her madness as well I do… as if they follow her as closely as I do…. ok, fine so I haven’t really been trailing her scent lately but still…. that doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to what is happening with her…and so what if I may be borderline creepy, these people do not know the extent of crazy! I can attest to that because I have met crazy-a$$ fans. Yes, I have… they make me laugh. :)

So I digress…

I used to think like him.

But do you think Clive Davis in all his goodness is going to let someone who was part of the Idol phenomena first of all, do better than his bevy of winners and what more do better outside of his stable of record labels? You know the answer to that… of course not!

Time and time again it has been proven that it may be better to be part of the Idol machinery and to have contractual obligations than to not have any at all.

Sure, people will say that really being tied to an Idol contract will mean that creatively, the Idol will not be allowed to dictate their own direction. But what is wrong with that? You’re a newbie in the industry… just because you’ve been part of a well-oiled reality tv show does not mean you’re ready to spearhead your music career! And now, do you think on a show like American Idol, finalists like Adam Lambert or Allison Iraheta were not given stylistic ‘advice’ whether musically or in fashion? Grow up! American Idol is out there to make stars of their finalists. Everyone of them crafted to lure and trap in the audience. It’s a TV SHOW for goodness sakes!

And this may be one of the reasons why I am being turned off. It’s becoming too slick…

Let’s take a look at some of the ’successful’ American Idol winners and finalists through the seasons and see which of them was not under the influence of Clive Davis…

Kelly Clarkson – RCA Records / Sony Music – she did well with her sophomore album, Breakaway selling over 10 million copies… on her 3rd album she thought she didn’t need Clive Davis and lo and behold, she was put in storage and My December failed largely because she didn’t listen to her management. Yes yes, she begged for forgiveness and is now riding the waves of grace on her 4th album! “My life would suck without you” takes on a whole new meaning here.

Ruben Studdard – Hickory Records- So he may not be internationally known since stylistically he is more inclined towards Gospel and r&b which is fine. He is doing well in his own right working with good producers and established singers. Just a note, just when you thought there was no link to the Sony/ BMG/ RCA/ Arista dynasty… Hickory Records, they are under Sony/ATV… so a link there again!

Clay Aiken – RCA – they allowed him to come out and say he was gay. How much more support do all of you want? Cheers for that!

Fantasia Barrino – J Records – still under Clive Davis and RCA… and she’s actually doing really well according to Wikipedia – I can’t be bothered to type out all her achievements.

Jennifer Hudson – Arista – She won a freakin’ Oscar. Enough said.

Carrie Underwood – Arista Nashville – The most loyal Idol winner so far and she has been rewarded handsomely for it. Time and time again, I giggle when Clive Davis drives this point home… since the season she’s won, she’s been given a plump role in all the seasons either by making an appearance during the season or singing at the finale shows, given the honor of singing the Idol Gives Back single or … by singing the ’send-off’ song (she got it in Season 8 with the cover of Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home”).. or even for receiving awards on stage for no reason during the finale and right before the announcement of the winners even.. this season eludes me now but it was for her song, “I’ll stand by you”… just because Clive Davis wants her to be on stage and given the spotlight. Oh, the power of Clive.

Katharine McPhee – Charting her own course, she did sign with RCA Records but that fell through after a so-so album debut. The truth is, American Idol painstakingly builds up your street cred and when you start to dismantle that and come out with something completely different from what people have known you by on Idol, you lose the fanbase completely. Had she stuck to her theatrical jazzy-pop style on Idol, she would have fared better, I reckon. Clearly David Foster thinks she’s best suited for it and he’s taken so much interest in her that Verve Records has signed her. She’s also done well by appealing to the younger teen crowd and gone to the movies with chick flick, “The House Bunny” and recorded the title track for “Barbie and the Diamond Castle” and a track for the “Tinkerbell” soundtrack.

Chris Daughtry -RCA/19 – Again, doing well with a few Grammy Nominations under his belt, grand exposure on American Idol Season 6 with his single “Home” featured as the exit track for the losing finalists… and a spattering of no.1s’ of course!

Elliot Yamin – Sony / ATV – yes, yes … he’s doing quite well internationally with his soulful voice and has scored some top 20 hits… :)

Jordin Sparks – Jive Records / Zomba Label Group – recording a song with Chris Brown, “No Air” and it peaked at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100. Decent decent, even if the song isn’t really something I like. So she’s touring with Alicia Keys and Jesse McCartney… that’s big stuff!

A side note trivia, did you know that Jesse McCartney co-wrote “Bleeding Love”? Thank goodness it didn’t win a Grammy.

David Cook - RCA 19 Records – He was given enough freedom to flex his creativity and he scored a decent no. 3 on the Billboard Album charts. Enough said.

David Archuleta – Jive – the favourite of Grannies has done well internationally … with his single “Crush”… clearly the pre-pubescent girls swoon at his feet ‘cos he’s the cutest Mormon on the block.

Anyway, the point I want to make is … SEE! THEY ARE ALL UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF CLIVE DAVIS!!! In some way or other and those who are not, clearly stepped on the wrong toes… and the point is, even if they didn’t do that well on the charts, they got the exposure … and that’s more than enough some times isn’t it?

So to my dear friend, I do believe it is much better to be tied to 19 Records / RCA / Jive/ J/ Sony/ BMG / Arista after Idol if you want to make hits that are heard. Clive Davis makes sure you know that…I’m just sayin’.

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