It’s been a trying time for a lot of the people last week. I shall just say that some seemed on the edge of a nervous breakdown but recovered by early this week which is a relief.
I never believe in being manipulative with feelings. I think that is the wrong approach to any situation – to be emotionally manipulative. I try not to be even though I know I sink into that mode some times when I feel cornered but I hope it is something that we admit to and then will to change.
Also, I don’t think people should complain about each other. I wish that never existed. At work, at home, at church and well, just about anywhere. ‘Cos everyone has their faults. We’re not perfect. If we were, we’d be God.
It is unimaginable that it has been two years since Papa passed away but reflecting on things, a lot has changed in the last two years. I bought a dSLR first of all and I’ve toted it to almost all events. I guess memories are all you have left when someone leaves. And how do you store memories but with pictures and video? Even if they are badly taken.
Secondly, we got a daughter, a niece and a granddaughter. She’ll be 1 tomorrow. If that’s not a gift from God then I don’t know what it is. She is quite a bundle of attitude and character, something that I don’t think I’ve noticed from a baby before. The last ‘baby’ I knew intimately was my little sister and well, she was a docile little one.
I’ll always remember the grand exit my father got from this world, the convoy that followed him to where he would be buried, the fact that traffic stopped for him.
I remember my father’s smile, his easy-going nature and his lame jokes. I don’t remember the jokes specifically, just that he made them. I remember how we would sit at dinner and talk about things and that was probably the best time of the day for us as a family – dinner. After all, that was when we gathered together and ate together as a family, something that a lot of families don’t do these days.
My father was a real Chinese dad. He liked Chinese food, talked like a Chinese and just carried himself like one. I suppose that’s not a bad thing since he was after all a Chinese. He used to call me “his little English girl”. I think my little sister was bestowed that title too. We were the ones that like spaghetti and all that. 
Before he slept, he would come check on us. Or he would check on us before we slept. And he was always on our side which was pretty cool. He’d back us up if we wanted something. 
I remember when I first went to school here, I was in Grade/ Standard 3 and he came to watch me on Sports Day. He was laughing at how I clumsily collided into people while trying to swerve around them. Yes, I am that clumsy.
Fond memories. Forever and ever….
FORGIVE ME, GOD!
Jamie Slocum – Fragile
The lyrics for Jamie Slocum’s ‘Fragile’
The video for Jamie Slocum’s ‘Fragile’
My thoughts
What a great song! It’s exactly what I’m finding hard to say.
I especially love the line, “I need you more than ever”. The ad libs near the end are also the best. I have added the only audible line which is, “please don’t leave me alone”.