In Loving Memory – Butterfly & Dreams

Someone once told me that if you dream of someone after they’d passed, it means there’s a message they’ve come to give. If a butterfly (some times white) visits after someone has passed (Chinese believe it should be 7 days after they’ve passed), it means they’ve come to visit and to reassure you. I like that symbolism.

On the night after Papa’s funeral, my mother, sisters, brother-in-law and myself were sitting in our living room recollecting the events of the last few days, chilling out and watching tv (with no volume – in honour of my dad who watched action flicks and all sorts of things silently), when a pale, delicate green butterfly (and tiny, crippled, brown friend) came to visit us. It flew and sat infront of us on the carpet to catch our attention. We were pretty excited. It fluttered rested on the other side of the carpet after it had caught our attention, to give us more room to crowd around it. The butterfly stayed there for some time as we went up close to inspect and talk to it. The petite, gentle butterfly looked like a green leaf. I had never seen such a butterfly before.

It flew to a wall after my little sister touched it and after we disturbed it a bit more, it flew to another wall and stayed there till we went to sleep. I think the butterfly topped off our night and made us all happy.

The next day it was gone.

7 days after my father had passed, (it was a Tuesday also), my mother. little sister and I had just finished dinner and were lounging in our living room again when my little sister noticed a butterfly on the same spot (as the funeral night) in front of us on the carpet. My sister noticed it first and thought it was a leaf when she exclaimed, “it’s the same butterfly!” Once she said it, the butterfly fluttered and rested on the chair my father last sat on before he left for Singapore and passed away. The green butterfly was the same butterfly although it looked much older, a bit paler and browner and it had a bit of its wings chipped. It sat on that sofa chair all night and didn’t move for hours. My mother realised that it was 7 days after my father had passed. We were so excited and happy, my little sister and I. We sat next to it, talked to it and we even touched it a bit and it didn’t fly away.

We believe that butterfly was my dad or was sent by Papa to visit us and also to reassure us that he was ok. It was beautiful, definitely not scary at all.

Roughly two weeks after my father passed, I wrote the date down as October 23rd (so it was either the 22nd or 23rd), I dreamt of my father. He was lying in state in the carpark which meant the funeral was still in progress. In my dream, we were upstairs in our house, I walked in to see my father sitting on the sofa in our living room, in his pyjamas watching television. I asked him how come he was here and he said he had risen. Then I told him the funeral was downstairs but he said it was the 3rd day and he had risen. I was quite amazed. Not scared in my dream just pleased really, as realisation dawned. I asked him again a few more times and remember repeating to myself several times that it was the 3rd day and he had risen. It was quite incredible. He was alive and well upstairs in our house, hanging out with us while his body lay downstairs in the casket with visitors still coming to pay their respects. I think I asked him to go visit his guests downstairs but he stayed upstairs with us.  When I woke up, the dream was still so real that Papa was alive and 3 days after he died, he had risen and was ok.

My older dreamt of him too a couple of weeks later, here is her e-mail on Nov 5, 2007:-

I had a really wonderful dream about papa last night. He was standing around us and hugging us and he looked really really happy. He was smiling and telling us that he can hear everything we say to him and that he’s happy. He looked great and just kept reassuring us that he is watching out for us and could hear everything we say to him. It’s the first time since he’s passed away that I had such a vivid dream about papa.

A few of my relatives and father’s friends mentioned that they dreamt of my father, all pleasant dreams.

If I recollect correctly, my aunty’s dream was of my father with his arm around her shoulders telling her he was ok (I think) and they went to look for my cousin. Another cousin of mine dreamt of my father in his favourite orange shirt taking her and their colleagues out for lunch. In her dream, they were aware he was no longer with them but they were all happy and he was smiling and joking and again, telling them he was ok.

Maybe there were other dreams that I was not aware of.

But it is comforting to note that the dreams and encounters were all pleasant, not oppressive but peaceful, joyful and serene. That Papa looked ok, intact and alive…not in pain but happy.